


Internal Conflict

by BlitheFool



Category: X-Force (Comics)
Genre: Implied Sexual Content, M/M, Relationship(s)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-04-09
Updated: 2014-04-09
Packaged: 2018-01-18 19:41:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,448
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1440385
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BlitheFool/pseuds/BlitheFool
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Rictor reconsiders</p><p>Revised 04/14/14</p>
            </blockquote>





	Internal Conflict

**Author's Note:**

> This felt very unfinished to me so I took another crack at it. Hopefully it's a bit more of a story now.

‘Star was asleep. Julio had been listening to his soft rhythmic breathing for the last twenty minutes. He should probably leave and go back to his room but the blankets were warm and he wasn’t a hundred percent sure where he’d left his underwear. Instead he watched ‘Star whose pale skin was almost luminous in the darkness. He studied his face- strong jaw, long pointed nose, and ginger lashes. ‘Star ‘s unruly mane of copper hair was hilariously disheveled from this evenings, er, _activities_. The eight pointed star that covered his left eye was raised ever so slightly and his eyebrow was missing from that side of his face. Julio had pondered that mark- was it a brand? Some weird alien birthmark? ‘Star never talked about it. He had flinched the first time Julio had touched it. 

Julio was reasonably certain that ‘Star was the most attractive guy he’d ever seen. He was like some sort of weird mix between a Calvin Klein underwear model and one of those dudes on American Gladiators. ‘Star’s skin was unbelievably soft and smooth. He never got a zit like a normal teenager. Julio had struggled with that. His diet of whatever-junk-food-he-could-scrounge probably didn’t help. But ‘Star’s skin was perfect. Julio thought it might have something to do with his healing factor- or he was just a lucky bastard. He doubted ‘Star had a skin regimen. He didn’t even use product on the four plus feet of hair he had.

Julio wasn’t a bad looking guy but next to ‘Star-or any other member of X-Force, he wasn’t exactly an impressive specimen. Julio was short, for one. He barely broke 5’8”. He’d been tall for a Richter, but that wasn’t saying much. Cable’s constant training drills had given him a fair amount of muscle tone but he’d never be like ‘Star, or ‘Berto, or Sam. It had left him wondering what, exactly, ‘Star saw in him.

It had been two months since their first nervous kiss on the couch. If he hadn’t been half in the bag that night, he probably never would have made a move at all. ‘Star hadn’t had a clue what he was doing but he’d been eager to learn and very willing to follow Julio’s lead. It wasn’t like Julio was _experienced_ or anything. He’d only ever gotten to second base with Rahne. Before Rahne all he had was a very vivid imagination and a hidden cache of dirty magazines. But Julio was a guy and so was ‘Star so at least the mechanics were less of a mystery.

Things had escalated between them quickly. Julio had been keen to lose his status as a pathetic single virgin as fast as he possibly could. This concept didn’t even exist for Shatterstar. Apparently the Cadre were more concerned with battle and honor than sexual milestones. Still, once ‘Star had discovered the various pleasures a partner could provide his appetite was rather voracious.

When things where quiet they could usually hook up a couple times a week, which didn’t seem like nearly enough to Julio. Especially when you considered that the object of his desire only lived down the hall. But the logistics were tricky. He didn’t need Jimmy or ‘Berto to catch him slipping into ‘Star’s bedroom in the middle of the night. He wasn’t ready for that conversation or the potentially explosive reaction. Then there was the part of him that just wanted to get it out there because, fuck, he was really into ‘Star and all this clandestine shit was exhausting. Beyond that, Julio worried that ‘Star was going to wake up one morning to an empty bed and realize he could do better.

Sneaking around was starting to take its toll and a week long mission had seen that he and Shatterstar had not had a moment alone together until tonight. Playing it normal was tough and the only privacy anyone had been afforded in that lousy hideout was the single bathroom. Julio had taken full advantage if his shower time to relieve a little tension, but it wasn’t the same. Not when the real thing was right outside the door polishing his swords for the hundredth time.

Julio wondered if ‘Star thought about sex as much as he did. If he did, he’d managed to compartmentalize that shit and still function like a (relatively) normal person. Meanwhile, just watching ‘Star fight had become a major turn on for Julio. It left him cursing his spandex battle suit and praying no one noticed the state he was in. He’d gotten a few lectures from Cable about being ‘distracted’ which keyed him up even more. He really wanted to punch that asshole. He was fairly certain Cable knew it too. He made sure to think it _really loudly_ \- just in case the telepath had any doubts.

When the team had finally slogged back home and their fearless leader had released them all for some R&R time, he and ‘Star had immediately slipped away together. If Shatterstar could switch off his baser instincts for missions they came raging back the minute he and Julio were alone. They’d barely closed the door to ‘Star’s bedroom before ‘Star had him pinned to the wall, the heat of his arousal pressing insistently against Julio’s hip.

The pace of the evening had been frantic, almost desperate. Julio had cranked up the music so they were insured a little extra privacy. He didn’t feel like being quiet and he wanted ‘Star to know exactly how much he’d missed him.

Now it was 2am and Julio wanted to stay in bed with ‘Star tonight. He wanted them to leave together in the morning and act like this, all of it, was no big deal. He wanted to watch Sam sputter and blush and be able to shrug it off. He wanted to tell Jimmy and ‘Berto that this didn’t make him any less of a man. He wanted to tell Cable to go fuck himself. He wanted to wake up tomorrow morning and finally be OK with who he was. But he couldn’t.

The worst part was that ‘Star didn’t get it. He didn’t understand why they couldn’t hold hands and suck face in public like Sam and Tabby did. He didn’t grasp why they had to sneak around. He didn’t get it but he went with it anyway- like he always did. ‘Star was a good soldier and he knew how to follow orders.

‘You do not want the team to know that we are having sexual relations?’

‘I- look, dude, you can just call it sex. ‘Sexual relations’ gives me flash backs to McCoy’s health class’

‘Very well. You do not want them to know we are having sex?’

‘No. I mean, just not yet, okay?’

‘Star was silent for a moment, considering. ‘Are you ashamed of this?’

‘No! It’s just, I’m not ready right now. Look, I know this isn’t a big deal for you but...’

‘If it is important to you, Julio, I will keep this secret.’

‘It doesn’t have to be forever, ‘Star. I promise.’

It felt bad making ‘Star keep a secret this big. It clearly troubled him and almost nothing got to Shatterstar. Was he screwing him up somehow- making him think there was something wrong with being queer? It was just- _he couldn’t deal with it right now._ He’d barely come to terms with being a mutant. How the Hell was he supposed to come out to his teammates? To _Cable?_ Dios. Just the thought of it made Julio feel ill. It was better just to keep it between them. Just for now. Just until he plucked up a little more courage. He’d say goodnight, maybe borrow a pair of boxers, and then be on his way.

He reaches for ‘Star and his mismatched eyes flutter open. He looks vaguely surprised.

‘Julio. You are still here.’ , there is a ghost of a smile on his face.

‘Si.’ He strokes the side of ‘Star’s cheek, thumb tracing the line of his jaw, caressing his perfect skin.

‘Are you staying the night?’ His heavily accented voice is quiet. He looks hopeful.

He really should go.

‘I-‘

But he wanted to stay.

‘Si. ‘

He lied.

‘Bueno’, ‘Star snakes a hand around his waist and draws him closer, _‘Te deseo.’_

_Oh._

‘Star’s mouth plays softly against his as their legs tangle beneath the sheets. Julio stifles a moan as ‘Star kisses his way down his neck.

He’d slip back into his room before Dom made her morning rounds. He’d endure Shatty’s despondent looks during training- he had before. ‘Star always forgave him.

He hoped this wouldn’t be the exception.


End file.
